Brandon Geurts Patron

I paint the figure and watch a lot of film. Washington D.C. 

If a film fucks me up sufficiently, it gets a 5. Ratings are arbitrary.

Favorite films

  • Eraserhead
  • Alien
  • Tetsuo: The Iron Man
  • Hellraiser

All
  • Norbit

    ½

  • The Phoenician Scheme

    ★★★★

  • Nowhere

    ★★★★½

  • New Rose Hotel

    ★★★★

More
Norbit

2007

½ Watched

RIP Brian Wilson. I'm not really sure what he saw in this, there is such a dark energy to this film. Deeply terrifying experience

The Phoenician Scheme

2025

★★★★ Watched

Honestly kinda shocked this is Michael Cera’s first outing in the ever-expanding Wes Anderson core cast, he feels like he should have been in so many of these by now (and is great here).

I think I actually tend to prefer this stage of Anderson’s filmography where his artificiality is more transparently on display and he’s basically making pulp novel dioramas, there’s a sincerity that comes through in the rabbit holes he digs into. The pieces of art he borrowed from museums getting their own credits sequence, for instance. Also appreciated all the slapstick.

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Lu Over the Wall

2017

★★★★ 2

Ponyo for dudes with a Bandcamp

Freaked

1993

★★★★ Watched

Very strong "major labels g The Melvins/Butthole Surfers because Kurt Cobain liked them and then immedately realizing their mistake" vibes.