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Top 50

certified pretentious film reviewer

Favorite films

  • On the Silver Globe
  • Hard to Be a God
  • Inland Empire
  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

All
  • Mickey 17

    ★★★★

  • Mission: Impossible II

    ★★★

  • Smile 2

    ★★★★

  • Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning

    ★★★★★

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Antichrist

2009

★★★★★ Liked 2

This film did not disappoint one bit. I’d been very hesitant to watch this ever since I began Von Trier’s filmography (due to hearing of the obvious reputation it has) but I have to say this very well may be his best work, right beside Dogville. Apologies in advance for the lengthy write-up, I just really thought this film deserved a proper interpretation/review. It’s a complex film layered in many different subtexts (psychology, identity, religion, relationships.) so bear with me. Had…

Synecdoche, New York

2008

★★★★★ Liked 1

“What was once before you, an exciting and mysterious future, is now behind you. Lived, understood, disappointing. You realize you are not special, you have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyone’s experience. Every. Single. One. The specifics hardly matter, everyone is everyone.”

This truly is a film about everything, and everyone. It is a film about conscious existence and subconscious being, a film about love, a film about death, and the art…

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Smile 2

2024

★★★★ Liked Watched

Wasn’t fully feeling it at first because the jumpscares/fake-outs started to feel a bit repetitive, but I really liked the ending. Came together better than I expected. I won’t say it’s a bad movie as I appreciated it quite a bit, but I’m still not a fan of this guy doing a Possession remake (or there being one at all for that matter)

Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning

2025

★★★★★ Liked Watched

I have no problem saying this is one of the greatest action films of all time. Sure, it starts out a little exposition-heavy in the first act but once it gets going oh my fucking god it gets going. The submarine sequence was absolutely horrifying and from that point on it’s just full throttle. Tom Cruise is a man. 

Honestly might be the best in the franchise, it’s for sure better than Dead Reckoning and nearly tied with Fallout for me. Fucking insane.

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Beau Is Afraid

2023

★★★★★ Liked 9

I have a million things I want to say about this but my mind just can’t fucking seem to calm down from this 3 hour long otherworldly, infuriating, surreal anxiety attack. Excuse my hyperbole, but this is one of the most bravely unique and ingeniously crafted films EVER MADE. Don’t care if that’s recency bias because I haven’t had such a heavily emotional response to a film in a long time, and the themes are so chaotically ambiguous in a…

Inland Empire

2006

★★★★★ Liked 6

(Apologies in advance for the super long write up!)

On Monday my Inland Empire Criterion arrived. I had been ultimately hesitant about this Criterion release since it’s announcement, because a huge element of what makes this film so good is the blurry digital SD “home video” type effect. I’ve seen this movie 3 times and every single time I watched that shitty blurry rip that’s been up on YouTube for years. I fucking loved it every time. I worried that…