Sometimes....when a man falls off the wagon he lands on his bitchass...

But others, rocket into the earth like Lucifer on fire and create a crater so large it turns most of their loved ones into cinder.

I am in the latter camp.

8 years ago, you would have found me crass, violent, and probably more than a little annoying.

Nobody likes a big-dumb bastard walking through this earth like a nightmare...yet here we are.

5 years ago you couldn't…

Can your boy get a goddamn intermission?

Does anybody those?

They were fun...

Theaters might even sell more million-dollar popcorn that way, and AMC might not have to try and charge a Maltese falcon for a seat.

I don't really have any solidified thoughts on this movie, and after about 12 hours, I'm not sure I ever will, so let's just give'r a go.

I liked it...

I didn't love it, but I don't think that was any fault…

"What are you guys, like a cult?"

Meh...

I wouldn't kick it out of bed, but I figure it's firmly near the bottom as far as how I'd rank this in the franchise.

It's kinda just whatever.

Somewhere along the line, Hollywood forgot what makes these movies work.

I mean, we come for the carnage, yes…

But it's the quiet moments that crystalize the terror.

And for the last 20 years, these films have been all gas pedal.

They could…